Psychological Counselling Zurich
Mae Matus
Finding your footing after separation
Working through a separation is a process that takes time, self-compassion, and sometimes a supportive, steady presence. A lot can be shaken: your self-image, your trust, and all the plans for the future that were tied to another person.
In this time of transition, we will look together at what supports you, what needs space to be grieved, and where new strength and confidence can begin to grow.
Höschgasse 28, 8008 Zurich
Phases of inner change
The Swiss psychologist Verena Kast describes the process of separation in four phases. These do not unfold in a straight line. Feelings such as anger, grief, helplessness, or acceptance can come in waves, repeat themselves, or overlap.
1. Shock or denial
In the early days after a separation, the feeling that what has happened cannot possibly be real is often at the forefront. Many people feel numb, frozen inside, or filled with disbelief. This denial can be protective for as long as the pain still feels too overwhelming to let in.
2. When emotions surface
As the shock begins to ease, intense feelings often surface, such as frustration, anger, helplessness, or deep sadness. During this time, it can help to make space for these feelings, for example through talking, writing, creative work, or movement.
3. Searching and letting go
In this phase, your thoughts often circle around what you could have done differently. These reflections express a deep need for direction and a sense of control.
4. A new relationship with yourself and the world
How do I want to shape my life now? Slowly, a first sense of inner space begins to open up. The loss remains, but it becomes part of life. This is not about getting rid of the pain, but about finding a way to live with it. How can I go on with what has been? And what might emerge now?
